Dell Buyer Beware!

Dell,,,,,,,ah yes, buy buy buy,,,,,we are a wonderful company.
We have some of the brightest lights in the galaxy working for us.

Our Customer Care Service Stinks.
The majority of the people who work for us,
are only here to get a pay check,
Regardless of whether we actually know what the hell we are supposed to be doing.
 

Our sales people are more then happy to suck you in & take your orders,,,,,,,
After that,
We treat YOU, our customers like total idiots!
(that is, IF you can ever get anyone live on the phone again.)

Even though we give your our 'direct' extension,
We will never call you back,
Mostly because we don't have individual extensions.

When we give you an extension such as 66966,
You will literally get anyone in the world from India to the United States & in between.
The same extension is for an entire department,
Which is spread out through out the world.

The upshot is, that you will NEVER get the same person twice,
NEVER get a call back,
Spend untold hours on hold, troubleshooting, or arguing,
& WILL have to repeat your problem 150 times over the course of 6 months.

Buyer Beware!

We pride ourselves on frustrating our customers by our complicated voice mail system.
When you purchase our computers they stand up for a few months,
& if they don't--
Even if you have purchased an extended in home/office service next day warranty,
DON'T count on anyone coming out to fix your computer anytime soon,
Because we don't believe you know what you are doing anyway.

Basically, the only way you will ever get our attention is to make a commotion.
Until you have truly had E-nough,
We will go out of our way to piss you off.

We give wrong reference numbers, for wrong orders.
We send wrong parts, IF & when we do send them.

Until you become a raving lunatic, insisting, no, make that demanding,
We will continue to jerk you around.

The only way to get some satisfaction, is to demand to speak with a Stupidvisor.
He will eventually agree to mail you the (in)'correct' parts, just to shut you up, & make you go away.
We train our staff well.
 

The next step, after you have given up on phone calls,
You use the online chat.
Here we have monkeys behind the computers.

After we let you go into great detail,
We don't  pay attention to what you say anyway,
Which is why we have to constantly ask you to please state precisely what your problem is.

We don't take notes,
We don't know how to read or comprehend.
Nor do we know how to follow up on anything, meaning, after you get done phoning, emailing & chatting,
All you've done is pass time, because NOTHING is resolved.

It's the proverbial trip to the dentist.
You are never done
Every time you contact us,
You advance one step backwards.

Buyer Beware!

If you're looking for a company who has helpful, knowledgeable tech support,
Learn to trouble shoot your own computer!

These jokers would rather have you format & reinstall a dozen times,
before they will ever admit
that their Motherboard, Ram, Hard Drives, Sound  & Video Cards
ARE DEFECTIVE
& NEED to be REPLACED!!!!

RUN AS FAST & AS FAR AS YOU CAN IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION!

All other complaints may be sent to:
Mr. Michael Dell
Chairman of the Board and Chief Executive Officer
C/O DELL
Dell Inc
One Dell Way
Round Rock, Texas 78682

© Suzie 1996-2008 ©